There’s no one quite like Mom. She’s your biggest supporter, closest confidant, and is never one to beat around the bush. I’m 25-years-old and talk to her on the phone at least twice daily (and that’s not including texting each other throughout the day). There’s no one else who deserves a day dedicated to themselves other than Mom (and of course you, Dad, but we’ll get to you in June). In the spirit of Mother’s Day coming up next weekend, the Coterie team asked our Moms a series of questions full of their best memories and advice!
Disclaimer: We have 3 Sarah’s on the team, so corresponding answers for us are under our last names to make it easier for everyone!
QUESTION: What birthday was your favorite party you threw for me? What made it so special?
Hoffman: I'd have to say your Bat Mitzvah was my favorite party that we planned for you. It was truly a reflection of the person you were at the time. You had a very integral part in all of the planning, from the place, the theme, colors, invitations, food, music . It was special for so many reasons. Your Bat Mitzvah symbolized a milestone for you, in our religion. It was when you were considered a mature young adult. We were also surrounded by those whom we love and love us - relatives and friends came from both near and far to celebrate with us as well as over 60 of your friends.
Alexis: I tried to think back and I believe my most favorite party was the one with the princess at the pool club where we would hang as a family most summers when you were growing up. Perhaps it is that picture I have of you with Cinderella or the entire atmosphere that made it so special, but that is one of my all time favorites.
Raffa: My favorite was a birthday party at our home with a traveling petting zoo. The animals were in our backyard and the weather was perfect. The animals were gentle and lovable and the kids loved interacting with them. There was one glitch that actually created a special memory. There was a sweet, little potbelly pig that couldn’t leave the truck because he was sunburned. We all got a kick out of that (including the adults) and visited him in the truck. I loved having the birthday parties at our home because it was more personal and warm.
Butler: Unfortunately because you have a summer birthday, you did not have many birthday parties with friends because they were either out of town or at camp. When we did do it, it was usually a pizza, popcorn, and pool party at Cochise.
Linden: I think my favorite party we gave was actually your 21st birthday family dinner party in New Haven, CT. We had a small group, mostly family, and it was so lovely and intimate. It’s a big milestone when your daughter reaches 21. As a mother, you heave a sigh of relief that now there are no more fake i.d’s, no more pretending to be older than you are. It’s also a welcome into adulthood and a celebration of your daughter’s childhood. For me, it was a very special, happy day.
QUESTION: What has been your proudest mom moment?
Hoffman: OMG, there is not one particular moment that has made me the proudest. There have been so many moments. You have proven yourself to be an independent thinker, you never follow even when it is the popular thing to do. You have always known what you want out of life and you have never settled until you got exactly what you wanted. I cried when you were born, I cried when you hit every milestone as a toddler, when you read from the Torah on your Bat Mitzvah, your first dance competition, induction into the National Honor Society, when you left for college, when you graduated from college and when you bought your one-way airline ticket to New York. Now that you are an adult I guess I am most proud of the person you have become and that you are such a good person.
Alexis: Your college graduation. Seeing you smiling so big in that beautiful city (Charleston) with the greatest group of friends made feel so happy and very proud.
Raffa: There as so many proud moments that it is nearly impossible to name one. Sara has always been focused, determined, smart, creative and kind. So she has excelled in so many things that have made me proud of her over and over again. One that comes to mind is right before she went away to sleep away camp she gave me a bunch of cards she had created for each day she would be away and instructed her dad and me to open one each day so we would think of her. Sara was always loving in that way and always making us creative gifts, cards, notes that made me smile. It’s no wonder she has created Coterie!
Butler: Gosh, there are so many proud mom moments! But I have to say that it makes me the most proud to see you kids grown up and happy, loving, kind, loyal, smart, independent, self-sufficient, and living your best life!
Linden: I think my proudest moment as Linden’s mom was the day she was accepted to college. She was so proud, and it was such a huge accomplishment after years of study, sports, and a busy life in high school. I was thrilled that she was thrilled. It was a big day for all of us!
QUESTION: What’s your favorite thing to incorporate every time you host a party?
Hoffman: I always want to make sure people feel comfortable when they come to my home. I want to make sure there are always snacks, drinks and food that appeal to the people who are at my home. I like to keep things casual. I think it’s important to make sure my serving platters, plates, napkins, cups, etc. all have something that unify them and that carry through my decor for the party. I think it shows that I really thought about this party and it was important to me.
Alexis: Fun drinks of some sort and flowers. You'll always see margaritas at our summer parties. And good, easy to handle food. These are must haves for me!
Raffa: Good food with a nice presentation.
Butler: Music. And dancing!
Linden: Coconut cake! You have to have a coconut cake for a birthday party. And flowers. Lots of spring flowers on the table. And balloons!
QUESTION: If you had one piece of advice for me when I become a mom, what would it be?
Hoffman: Love unconditionally, accept each of your children for the individuals they are. Don't rush, enjoy every moment, every stage because before you know it they will be out on their own. Also, just accept that when something doesn't go your children's way, IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!
Alexis: Be patient. I am not always the most patient and I am trying to slow down and enjoy each event as it comes as I feel like time is moving too fast. There's always something to celebrate, so cherish those moments.
Raffa: Enjoy it! Relish the relationship, the special moments, the love and don’t let the little day to day difficulties get in the way. Every stage is special and it gets better and better as the years go by.
Butler: Gosh I could give you a hundred pieces of mom advice; this is a hard one.
- Most importantly I have to say that when you become a mom, your #1 priority is to prepare your children for their next stage in their life. Ultimately, that leads to adulthood. Don’t be a helicopter parent, a tiger mom, etc. Let your children make their own choices and their own mistakes (even when you see them coming) while they are under your roof so that you can be there to pick them up and teach them that there are consequences. It is so very important to learn this big lesson in elementary and high school under your guidance.
- The other thing I have to say is this: Do the best you can with what you’ve got. There is no guidebook that comes with being a parent. There is no such thing as perfection. You will make mistakes. But love conquers all. And hope that your children choose to remember and cherish the good things, not the bad.
Linden: Enjoy every moment. Take the time to really listen to your children. No phones in the car. Car time is talk time with your kids. You have them as captives, and they will talk to you! Make as much time for them as you possibly can. Love them to pieces.
We hope you and your Mamas have a fabulous Mother's Day!